The eBay buck from hell…..Part 1
A couple of months ago after creating this simple eBay profit spreadsheet I determined to raise my shipping rates by $1.00 on a few specific eBay auctions I run.
Well, the day after I had the unmitigated nerve to institute such an outrageously blatant attempt to keep my eBay business solvent, I received an unfriendly email from an eBay auction lurker who must have been following one of these eBay auctions since he got out of diapers.
I’m taking the liberty to paraphrase his email as I don’t feel like rummaging through my past eBay correspondences that I archive in Outlook this morning.
He basically said,”I was just about to purchase these mugs until you raised your shipping price. Thanks a lot!”Call me crazy but as supreme allied commander of MarJan’s MarketPlace I immediately sent out a memo for an emergency meeting of all department heads to deal with this obviously unhappy customer.
What’s a warm and fuzzy Teddy Bear of an eBay Seller like me to do? Does this customer have a point and if so how should we handle him?
Immediately after sitting down at the 24 foot oval oak table in our super secret board room located in the west wing of my hou…., I mean our facility, Percy our Customer Relations Director pointed out how I was being a typical hard ass CEO and not taking into consideration how valuable that $1.00 was to our customer’s monthly budget? He might be on a fixed income and trying to save a few precious dollars before the onslaught of the fast approaching winter snows.
No sooner did those words leave Percy’s lips as, Snidely Whiplash the III, my very able albeit ruthless CFO at MarJan’s deadpanned, “Hey listen Percy, if this guy spent the time to email us about a lousy buck believe me he can afford it”.
I flicked the ashes off the end of my Macanudo cigar, slammed my gavel down hard and brought order to the meeting before it got out of control, “Now Snidely, we didn’t take our Mr. Nice pill this morning did we?” and Percy you know according to our sophisticated eBay profit spreadsheet this $1.00 shipping increase on this particular auction is fair. But I didn’t bring you all here to rehash whether to keep in place the $1.00 eBay shipping increase on this eBay auction. I want your opinions on how to handle this customer.”
Stop back for the next exciting installment of “The eBay buck from hell”!!!
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Comments
Right back at ya Rob… God bless and my prayers are with you and the lucky church God has called you to help shepherd over in England.
And as far as talent goes…..please take the time to write my “Wifey Poo” an email letting her know that. I still can’t get her to read anything I write 
.
She’s way too cool for me. I could wake up one morning……pen the equivalent of Lincoln’s second inaugural address that would heal the wounds of a broken nation
http://www.bartleby.com/124/pres32.html
and all I would get is a, “that’s very good Dear, but would you mind writing a “Thank You Note” for the Christmas gifts Dad sent us.
I mean this with every fiber of my being. That’s what I love about Janet. She’s totally unflappable by anything or anyone, and that’s saying a lot living with me.
Heh Mark …Happy New year to you …You have started the year in fine form ..You ought to write a book this year …You have Talent ( despite what the mirror tells you
)
God Bless my friend …. can’t wait for the next installment